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A hard limit is a limit that is set before BDSM play that cannot be changed. A hard limit is something that either partner cannot or will not participate in whether for physical, emotional, or other reasons. In BDSM, partners set limits so that play remains safe and no personal boundaries are crossed without permission.


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I had to fill one of these out when I started with my Dom. I was very very new to the scene and had an interesting and somewhat shocking meeting with Him while He explained what a lot of the terms meant. One form of suspension which was not a limit triggered such a massive panic reaction that it has become a hard limit.

Limits (bdsm)

Breath play was a hard limit for me in the beginning, partially due to health and partially to fear. There were a lot of activities that I could not figure out why anyone would want to do them. Somewhere along the line, you will encounter something that you do not want to do.

These limits even the hard limits do not have to be set in stone.

So what are limits? As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dominant is: what are your limits? I had no objections but they were not of interest.

Bdsm limits: learn what’s hard and soft

Your soft limits will often be challenged and influenced by your Dominant. Whether or not you like or dislike an activity is a matter of personal choice, taste, and experience. For me, that would include scat play, age play, or being turned upside down or spun when tied. SubguidePlus for our latest tips, tutorials and submissive tools!

You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dominant. Explain your fears, objections or dislikes to your Dominant. This is a wonderful place to end up as you will be safe to explore a huge range of activities with your Dominant.

Communication You can have limits and still submit to your Dominant. In a vanilla setting, hair pulling would be a bad thing, but many Dominants use this as a power move. For a new submissive either new to hard limits bdsm or new to real life as opposed to online BDSMI highly recommend knowing your limits and expressing them.

Hard limit

I tell Him the reasons why that activity is not going to be a good idea for me. Other limits are due to health objectives — spin me around and I will barf. Some activities I definitely wanted to try and some were a definite NO and hard limit.

You can have limits and still submit to your Dominant. Keep us running with your support. Sometimes as a mindfuck He will threaten to do it anyway, but I trust that He will keep my safety in mind. No matter where you are in submission, learning about, evaluating and re-evaluating your limits is a part of growth. I was filling out my checklist with someone looking on who did not understand why I would fill in that I liked my hair being pulled.

A limit is something you do not wish to do, whether by choice or necessity. Never say you have no limits!

You may decide to review them once in a while as you see interesting scenes at parties, or expand your risk acceptance. Limits establish what you will or will not allow for yourself in play or serving, and it could even extend to any interaction with a Dominant.

He wants to take me out of my comfort zone and expand my horizons. A soft limit is something that at this time you do not think you want to do, but perhaps your Dominant can convince you.

What is the difference between a hard and a soft limit?

Find more related content. Advertise on Submissive Guide. Please check the Submissive Guide for articles on that topic. There are many checklists online, and several articles in the Submissive Guide to help you get started.

For me, that might be an interrogation. : Series on Limits.

Bdsm limits: learn what’s hard and soft

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A hard limit is something you will not do under any circumstance. How can a Dominant know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?

Are you keen on suffocation? Lessons in Submissive Speech. Or it may be something you will only do with a specific Dominant, or in a specific play situation. I now participate in short sessions with my Master, and it rarely fails to send me into subspace. Interrogation squicked me from the beginning, but I have since done a private scene with my Master.

It is extreme edge play for me, and not only takes a lot out of me but it has lasting effects, and so it remains a soft limit.

Would you like to be interrogated or branded? It is simply a matter of communication. Two Types of Limits A hard limit is something you will not do under any circumstance. Your limits will change as you experience, grow and change.